So the point I am blogging this is just because I was annoyed about how a certain person or certain people would react about the name I’m using here in this blog which is iamhappybutsad96. They seem to make a big deal out of it. Pen names, code names, alias and alter-egos are very common now theses days. Those things are not very different. They are all not your real name, yet that is how you identify yourself and/or how people identify you. When people call you other names, like alteration of your real name, that becomes a nickname. Somehow, it becomes your identity.
In some website I read, there are many reasons why people use pen names. ( The site: http://www.fuelyourwriting.com/me-my-work-i-why-use-a-pen-name/) The reasons were as follows:
1. All In A Name
2. Type of Book
3. It’s A Marketing Thing
4. You’re scared
5. It’s Cool
(Just read the website for more info.)
I ask myself the question: Why do I use pen names? Okay, my first pen name is E.A. Virgo. I only use that name when I’m writing my “supposed” novels. Why is it E.A. Virgo? Well, the letters E and A are initials of my names. A for my real name and the E, well, it’s my name in my circle of friends back in elementary/grade school. Since I was born in September, I’m a Virgo. I actually created that pen name in 2009 but I started writing novels in 2008. Back in 2008, I wrote no name in the small notebook I used to write the first book. But when I created that pen name a year later, I returned to that notebook and wrote my pen name. So why did I use this name (E.A. Virgo)? At first, I thought if ever my books get published, I didn’t like (and still don’t) to use my real name. I just thought it would be difficult to remember. Also, because I think it’s cool. But it doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of my own real identity. NO. I like who I am. I accept myself. I’m not making E.A. Virgo another person or another persona of me. I don’t define E.A. Virgo as another person.
Next point is this iamhappybutsad96. There’s a kind of emotional background to it. Right now, while I am typing this, my heart sinks. My chest feels heavy. In my Facebook account I use my complete real name. Just ’cause. While on my twitter account, it’s @iamhappybutsad. Actually iamhappybutsad started when I signed up in tumblr. I know I could have used my real name there. But I don’t know. That day, I was somehow depressed and was in deep thoughts. I recall all memories and comments of my classmates about me. They said I always laughed. I like laughing. I’m happy. Yet, they don’t know I’m actually in a bit of a struggle. It’s a spiritual struggle. Deep down I am struggling. Yet, I choose to hide it, keep it to myself for the reason that it’s spiritual. It’s not external. I must solve it within me. So that time, I said to myself I am happy but I am actually sad. I just added the 96 because I was born in that year – ’96. Truth is, people shouldn’t make these things a big deal. Truth is, now I’m a bit pissed off. iamhappybutsad96 is not what you call “kaartehan” (I don’t what that is in English. But it’s like when someone wants to wear all these accessories just ’cause she/he wants to look nice.) It’s an emotional thing that I have kept holding on. In fact, when my classmates call me in a certain nickname, I refuse to recognize myself or accept what they call me. But it’s already been their familiarity of me (it’s difficult to break.) I’m hurt because you said the pen name/code name/alias iamhappybutsad is some kind of kaartehan. I could talk to you in person and explain why it’s iamhappybutsad but I know you wouldn’t hear it out. You won’t listen. It’s something you don’t understand. So I’m blogging this. 🙂