When I Was Younger….

When I was younger, I hardly saved money for myself. In my early years in Elementary/Grade School, I never had what we Filipinos call as baon. My mother would only give me prepared snacks or she would buy biscuits and prepare juice for me as my snack for the recess. I never carried money with me to school. I found it odd when I saw my classmates carrying money while I didn’t. I didn’t have money for fair because my parents hired a pedicab driver to pick me (and my sister) up at school and at home. The first time my parents have given me money for fair (they still give me prepared food for recess/break) was when I was in Grade 5. That time, my sister had already graduated from Elementary. My mother was also fed up with hiring pedicab drivers to pick me up because some failed to do their work so she trusted me with 12 pesos (six pesos back and forth travel every morning, another six pesos back and forth travel every afternoon). That was the only money that I had for myself so I never really saved money.

Not until when my father retired from his work. For some reason, my sister gifted me with a wallet which I thought I would never really fill with money considering that I don’t even have allowance. But when my father retired, the same moment few of my older sisters graduated from College and got jobs, they gave me from time to time money. I thought of saving those money. At one point, I collected 500 pesos (mostly the money they gave me was of bribe). But that money stayed 500 pesos. It never grew to 1000 pesos because I lent it to my mother who was short of money. She told me she needed more money to send to my sister who was in Cebu for her studies. So I gave her the money I was able to collect. She told me she would pay me back and I was like, “Cool.”

Ever since then, I would remind myself my mother has debt to me. There was a time when she did really pay me back (well, half paid me back). But still, my mother would still ask me if I had spare money she could borrow and of course, I would lent it to her. Her “debts” grew larger, I began to forget how much she owed me money. It ended with me not caring any longer about that. But I started to realize something when I was a sophomore. I should not give my mother that debt. I dare not think of her as debtor of mine because no matter how much money I would lend her, she is using it for good anyway. No matter how much she asks me money, I should not give her a debt because at the end, I have more debts to her than she has to me. Giving birth to me (specially backing out with the idea of aborting me. Yes, she told me she attempted to abort me.) is my biggest debt to her. Raising me alone while my father was away for work, even being my first real teacher is what I owe her for.

Now, I still save money but not to buy stuff for my own but to keep it in case, any of my family members need them.


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