Here is a conversation between me and the voices in my head.
I want this post to be cryptic.
Why? You’re afraid your friends will read this?
I don’t know. Maybe.
Well, this is your blog. This is your outlet to write what’s on your mind.
But how do I say these things?
Just say them. Torstein did say to Rollo, “They were hard to say. Now they are said.” Go on, say the words you’ve been wanting to say.
Well, I feel like I’m getting left behind. You see these feelings and realizations as you see your friends being part of organizations. Then, you know eventually you’d hardly see them around campus because they’ve decided to join orgs, because they’ve become closer to other people, because you were gone for a while, and just… just a lot of things changed. And I fear that. I fear it.
Easy solution. Join those orgs, reach out to them.
It’s not easy when you’ve lived a very introverted life. It’s not easy if you’re someone who can’t easily express their true emotions through actions.
But isn’t this a great opportunity? You wanted to be friendless. And you’re going to get it.
Aren’t you supposed to be helping me out here?
Well, I am just a voice in your head. The devil’s advocate for you. That’s not my job.
So what now?
Well, you’d be better focus on your studies. I mean, you just got a great result for your first long exam in Zoology 111. You’ve been able to prioritize your studies without them interfering.
So I am not going to get left behind because I already am?
Well, you are arguing and talking to yourself, aren’t you?