I still think of the time I spent five months in Cebu. Those five months of ups and downs. Well, mostly downs. I have never suffered so much depression in my life until I lived there temporarily. Looking back to those endless nights of misery and sulking in the corner to feel and ponder all the sadness, the reason behind it is yet to be unraveled. As I reminisce through the times I’d put my earphones on (turning the volume high and listening to loud rock music) in hopes of drowning out the unfathomable thoughts, it feels as if those days have only been parts of a dream. Looking around me, I see that I’m far from those days. I haven’t been depressed as much as I was in Cebu. I mean, I get occasionally sad when I don’t get high marks on quizzes. But that’s normal. The same depression I experienced six months ago are long gone…for now. It’s a good thing, too. I feel like I’ve been happier and healthier.
My hopes for now is that I don’t get back into that depressed state. I am not a sinking ship anymore. Whether who or what my anchor is that pulled me right back up to the surface, I’m going to discover or realize it in time.