Lately, I haven’t been thinking or pondering or dwelling on my emotions like I usually do. At this moment, I’ve quite set my eyes on academic goals and I thought to myself that I don’t have time for these things happening, especially since my family has some kind of internal conflict. I’ve had moments where I would just be like, “Nah, those are just some stupid shit. I’ve got some books to study.” Then, there are also some issues with friends that I just don’t think I’d want myself to bothered about.
I’m afraid that I’m starting to get numb. My life has been in a dramatic swerve. From being a complete wreck and depressed person several months ago, I’ve become the complete opposite of who I was then. I’ve got my things back together, I really believe. I’m not depressed anymore which means everything seems fine. But I haven’t been in this kind of level. Does this even make any sense? I hope it does. Perhaps, I haven’t got the right balance of things. I’m still working on coping with the changes in our lives, in my life. It’s almost a year, and I know I haven’t been the same since then. Perhaps to other people it isn’t obvious. But I know deep inside, it’s there. And about that, I’m just getting numb.