In the four years that I have been here on WordPress, I see a lot of changes. I started with writing some happy stuff like some random things that happen or about some things that I like. I did write quite a few sad things here at the early years of my blogging. But now, my posts have changed quite drastically. More specifically, right after the events of Haiyan, my posts have become darker. I’ve been writing about depression and suicide. This change in the “mood” and “atmosphere” of my blog somehow reminds me of the time I read the entire Harry Potter series. It started all jolly in the Sorcerer’s Stone (or Philosopher’s Stone, if you insist) then it got a little bit darker at the end of Goblet of Fire. Before, I felt like I was careless. I wrote anything I want and said what I want. But now, I try to filter through my head what I should write and share here and what I should just keep to myself. Although writing has always been sort of an escape route for me, I get the feeling of completely censoring myself these days. I’m not quite sure whether this is an effect of my recent trials. But writing for me is kind of like how singer-songwriters write about their experiences so they can finally move on from them. I felt so strongly about this before. Now, I’m not quite sure. Maybe, I just need to a bit of rediscovering myself.


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