I was actually planning to go to sleep now but then my mother had to enter my room and anger me with her opinion on beauty.
So recently, I have this sort of acne on my face, right around my jawline. It started being itchy then pimples grew now it looks like I have an acne (because I’m not sure whether this is actually acne or not). It’s not itchy anymore though. Anyway, my sisters and my mother have all criticized me for this. To be honest, I’m not particularly attentive about such things. I have my mind occupied on other things I deem much more important than being worried about pimples and whitened skin and everyone else’s insecurities. So I didn’t invest a lot of time or even just a little time washing my face with that
beauty product facial wash my mother bought me, now my mother came crashing to my room and telling me to wash my face. She then told me to stop touching my pimples (because sometimes my hands unconsciously touch that part of my face). She added that I would be the same as my male cousin who apparently has a bad case of acne. She says that it’s fine if my cousin got acne because he’s a guy but because I’m a girl, I shouldn’t have acne.
I got angry so I ignored my mother because I might yell at her and it would just result with me feeling guilty. I simply don’t understand why it’s okay if guys got acne but girls shouldn’t have acne. What is this gender stereotyping?! I see now that my mother and my sisters want me to achieve society’s standard of beauty. I see now that their standard of beauty includes white skin, flawless face, perfect teeth, and hairless legs and arms. Well, I’m done. Ever since I was kid, I was kind of insecure about how I looked because of my sisters’ constant criticism, rather destructive. I don’t exactly have perfect teeth or white skin, plus I was born with all this hair on my arms and legs. But now I’m embracing who I am. I’ve realized their words were toxic in my childhood and I hate them for it. They’ve made me insecure and (sometimes) uncomfortable with myself. Now, I’m going to embrace who I am and how I look. Fuck it.