Floating


It’s been exhausting lately. Both physically and mentally. I know I’m not a very active person. I hardly do any form of physical exercise which could explain why I’m exhausted. But even without exercising, I have a lot of energy. These days, I don’t think I have enough. These days have been mentally exhausting too. If there are quizzes or tests or activities in school that would require brain work, I need to push myself.

For the first time, I’m willing to skip class just to get some sleep. Lately, I’ve noticed that when I’m sleepy and stuck in a rather boring class, I tend to be more agitated. I feel like punching a wall. One time, I punched our lab table during my Botany class. As of writing this, my right fist is still hurting after I kept punching the floor of my room during that one episode of depression. Yesterday, I was planning to practice my swimming but this morning, I didn’t want to leave the house. I don’t even want to talk to anyone. I want to be left alone in this small room, listening to music. I want to feel like a floating, directionless soul.

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One thought on “Floating

  1. The things you said you want to do, is what you’re trying to convince yourself that you want. Because it seems better to deal with these negative emotions on your own. When in fact you want someone there for you. I know how you feel, but you have to talk to someone about it. You won’t lose anything if you do. This will just make your depression worse if you keep everything bottled up.

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