It’s been exhausting lately. Both physically and mentally. I know I’m not a very active person. I hardly do any form of physical exercise which could explain why I’m exhausted. But even without exercising, I have a lot of energy. These days, I don’t think I have enough. These days have been mentally exhausting too. If there are quizzes or tests or activities in school that would require brain work, I need to push myself.
For the first time, I’m willing to skip class just to get some sleep. Lately, I’ve noticed that when I’m sleepy and stuck in a rather boring class, I tend to be more agitated. I feel like punching a wall. One time, I punched our lab table during my Botany class. As of writing this, my right fist is still hurting after I kept punching the floor of my room during that one episode of depression. Yesterday, I was planning to practice my swimming but this morning, I didn’t want to leave the house. I don’t even want to talk to anyone. I want to be left alone in this small room, listening to music. I want to feel like a floating, directionless soul.