I’ve got these three cuts on my palm self-inflicted because of the void in my chest. I could have done more and much worse, perhaps. But seeing the blood, made me shake and cry. No, I’m not squeamish. (I’ve dissected toads, frogs and cats for fuck’s sakes!) Crying and muttering, What have I done? It wasn’t certainly the first time. There’s a dark circular scar near my wrist which I had created using my key. Yet, this one was different.
I know I’m the only one who can help me. Well, at least that’s what the voices say. I know I’m the only one. But I don’t know how to help myself or if I can even help myself. To tell you the truth, I don’t see things getting any better. Time has been coming and going faster than I can handle. But the days and nights seem longer. Sometimes, I just wish that time could fast forward to when everything is better. To be honest, I feel extremely hopeless. I’m too pitiful and too pathetic. Just hopeless. So hopeless that I have these cuts in an attempt to end it all. It’s lonelier and sadder now. There’s nothing that I want more than to just completely leave.